


Soft

by rice_bubbles (orphan_account)



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Be More Chill - Ned Vizinni
Genre: Beginnings of a panic attack, Bisexual Jeremy Heere, Comfort, Don't sue me, F/M, Filipino Michael, Gay Michael Mell, Hugs, Jeremy is soft, M/M, Michael-centric, Post-Squip, Short Story, i'm not ignoring that good ol character development, it's okay though!, jeremy and michael have talked it out, michael is shorter fight me, stagedorks! o glorious stagedorks, they're still salty, weed lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-22 02:46:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13754616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/rice_bubbles
Summary: In which Jeremy Heere tells Michael Mell all the reasons why he loves him.





	Soft

Michael Mell sighed softly. He was going through a rough patch, to say the least. Well, by rough patch, he meant that he was feeling quite bad about himself, and just feeling blue in general. He had rough patches often, but he knew that there were five things that helped him get through them- In order of helpfulness, video games were number five, weed was number four, hugs were number three, music was number two, and number one was the one and only Jeremiah Heere. Michael preferred all of them at once, but the golden opportunity for that combination wasn't very often presented.

Combinations worked too. One time, Rich came over in the middle of the night like he always did for some bizarre reason, yielding some weird knock-off Mario game from 1991 and a craving for hugs. That night, they had cuddled happily while watching baby Mario and baby Princess Peach fighting with large yellow dinosaurs. The night felt sort of like a fever dream, but a good one. It was warm, and nice. 

Another time, Christine- Michael's second best friend, almost equal with Jeremy- had sung the entire soundtrack of Grease outside his bedroom window until he had woken up to check who it was. Michael had opened his window to find Christine, clad in a horrible pink squirrel onesie for some reason. The boy had let the theatre geek in, and they had watched Chicago, Grease and West Side Story together before promptly falling asleep snuggled next to each-other. They had woken up and read Jeremy's lovey-dovey texts to Christine together, then they went out for a healthy brunch of waffles. Afterwards, while re-watching Grease for the third time in 24 hours, Michael had realized that he had dressed himself that morning without a single self-conscious thought in his head, and sighed happily.

But today, so it seemed, neither Christine nor Rich were going to show up. It was a cold, cold day, and sparkling blankets of snow covered the ground like carpet. Michael knew that it was too thick to walk in, so he stayed inside, messaging Jeremy hopefully, but to no avail. The teenager laid across his bed, breathing a little harder than usual. He had just woken up with a strange sort of feeling in his belly. He could feel his stomach ache, feel his throat tighten. No. No! He really didn't want this. He had no idea why he felt so bad, it all made no sense. He needed Jeremy. Any sign of him.

But Jeremy was happily staying over at Christine's house, enjoying the aftermath of a sleepover. Michael made this strange noise in the back of his throat, a sort of whimper. He felt his eyes stinging. No, he told himself. 'I won't panic. There's no need for me to panic, it'll all be fine, Mikey.' His breathing stopped hitching, and he slipped his light brown hands up his padded hoodie, feeling the warmth of his soft skin. He was okay. 

Michael sighed shakily, shivering and pulling his hands away, sitting up on his now messy bed. He ran a hand through his hair and got to his feet, padding over to his window and opening it up, grateful for the rush of freezing cold wind in his hazy, warm room. Wiping the sweat from the bridge from his nose and leaving the window open, the teenager walked slowly to his bathroom, opening the sliding door and stepping in, a rush shooting up his body at the feeling of the cold tiles. He clicked his fingers with every heavy step that he took, a strange habit that he had picked up from Christine.

Michael looked at himself through half-lidded eyes, studying his wonky glasses and the purpley-black bags that had appeared because of lack of sleep. He chuckled dryly, leaning down to the sink and splashing his face, rubbing it vigorously with a towel and sighing heavily at how dry his face felt. Accepting his dry-skinned fate, the male lifted his arm and sniffed, crinkling up his nose at the smell. He groaned softly, letting himself fall forward so that his forehead was pressed against the cold glass. Michael went a little cross-eyed, looking at his now distorted reflection. "Hmm." He made an amused sort of sound. "Guess you're just gonna have a shower, hey, Micah?" He said softly, using the nickname that Jeremy always used for him.

\----------

Michael plopped down on his bed once again, too tired (or lazy) to make it. He had dressed in his usual outfit of a plain black t-shirt, mottled grey sweatpants, his floppy red hoodie, and a new addition of socks with little cacti on them. He wiggled his toes in the socks, feeling warm but very sleepy. He padded over to his window and shivered, closing it and huffing a sigh, making his bed with the little motivation he had and belly flopping onto it, wincing and grabbing his phone. Whistling softly to himself, Michael messaged his best friend. 

M- 'hey jerm, can you come over? i'm lonely and rich came by with some rad new bean bags'  
J- 'oh? sure micah, the snow has melted a bit. just got back from christine's. want me to bring any snacks?'  
M- 'nah i'm fine dude, we have Snacks Galore, my mums go a little overboard. get your bi ass over here'

Around ten minutes later, there was a familiar knock at the door. It was familiar to Michael and Jeremy anyway, as it was the knock they would use to communicate between walls at stupid school camps and stuff. Michael ran down the carpeted hallway and the wooden staircase, coming to a halt in the kitchen, where a panting Jeremy stood. Michael felt himself grin at the boy, walking forward and closing the front door behind him. He couldn't help but laugh softly as Jeremy saluted Jasmine, one of Michael's mothers, who stood watching at the kitchen island.

"Hiya, Mrs. Mell!" Jeremy said happily. Jasmine smiled kindly and replied. "Hi, Jeremy. How are you? The snow only just melted. Oh, you look cold! Are you okay? Do you want some tea?" The concerned Mum Talk carried on for a couple more minutes before Michael took his best friend by the wrist and tugged him up the stairs, grinning sheepishly at his mother, who just rolled her eyes playfully. 

Once inside the safe haven of Michael's rather spacious bedroom, the two boys fell silent, carrying out their usual routine of setting up for video games, but something was different. Michael brought out two new bean bags from under his bed, instead of their usual pac-man print ones. Jeremy turned around to look at them, disrupting the Nerd Cycle, as they liked to call it. The bean bags looked softer and newer, and the print on top of them showed different types of 8-bit dogs dressed in Mario costumes. It wasn't quite as nerdy as the classic pac-man print, but it was a welcomed change, at least. The other ones smelled like weed.

Michael grinned at his best friend's slightly off-put expression and plopped the cushions down on the floor, falling dramatically onto his. Jeremy stifled a giggle and did the same, faking being shot, raising a hand to his forehead and drifting down until he was laying on the bean bag. The two buddies erupted into laughter, Jeremy's cheeks flushing. After they had caught their breath, Jeremy turned to Michael, still grinning widely. "S-So, how's it goin', my player two?" Michael bit his lip, the atmosphere suddenly becoming a little less warm.

They settled into their beanbags, snuggling into their respective sweaters/hoodies and sighing at the same time. "You haven't answered my question, Micah. You... you okay?" Jeremy's voice was softer, and Michael knew that his friend had noticed his smile drop. He bit his lip and laid his head back onto the sheets on his bed, going through what he might say in his head, feeling Jeremy's soft blue eyes on the side of his head. "Jere..." Michael mumbled, and his best friend immediately shuffled closer, sharing his warmth. "I'm sorry. I want to have fun and all, but I'm just feelin' blue, y'know?" He spoke rather lightly, in comparison to how heavy his heart felt.

He continued, taking a soft, shuddering breath."It's okay though, I got through it before it really hit." Michael couldn't help but feel like he was oversharing, so he stuck to keeping his explanation rather vague. "I kind of... freaked out this morning, for no reason. I woke up feeling weird and then I just... ah." The teenager broke off, quite unsure of how to word everything, so he left it there, knowing that Jeremy would understand. He opened one brown eye, then the other, peering over at his friend. Jeremy wore a gentle, slightly sad smile, and the next thing that Michael knew, there was a pair of warm, pale arms wrapped around his chest. 

Michael shifted his body and wrapped his own arms around Jeremy, laughing very softly and burying his face into his player one's shoulder. They stayed like that for a long while, sharing each-other's warmth, breathing deeply and gently. Michael thought how lucky he was to have a friend like Jeremy, one who could just hug him for however long he needed, one who always knew when he was feeling down. He heard a gentle, sort of wobbly voice mumble something, so the Filipino boy shifted his head to ensure that his ear was no longer muffled by thick navy blue sweater. "Y'know what, Micah?" Michael's heart softened at that damn nickname, the nickname that Jeremy always used for him, seemingly only when they were alone. It was an in-joke between the friends, something that spurred from Jeremy's shortening of names from when he was a kid, something that helped him with his stutter.

The male mumbled a reply. "Mhm?" Jeremy occupied himself with turning on one of the various old consoles that were scattered rather dangerously around his friend's room as he spoke, being careful with his words. "We're going to play this weird dumb Mario game that Rich probably bought off the black market somewhere, and we're gonna listen to some chill music, a-and we're going to maybe smoke some weed, and you're going to feel okay." Jeremy looked to his friend, and to his relief, got a shy nod in reply.

The two resumed their default positions, snuggled up on their respective beanbags, but stayed close, their arms touching. And that was all that Michael needed to feel safe. The pair set up their controllers like usual, quietly. The consoles were mainly Michael's, so it would make sense that the boy was player one, but he and Jeremy had always fought over who would get the 'ocean blue' wii controller when they were kids, and Jeremy usually won. That Jeremy stayed as the blue character was a strange kind of thing that they just went with in the end, perhaps out of mutual respect, perhaps just to share that little bit of nostalgia with each other, perhaps just because Michael liked the colour red more than blue.

But in this case, the two chose the characters they liked the most. They both fought over Princess Peach, trying to get each other to de-select her. In the end, Jeremy let Michael win, though the shorter boy suspected that it was just out of pity. Jeremy eventually gave up and chose Luigi, the character that suited him the best, both appearance and personality wise. Michael grinned as he chose Princess Peach, who had been his favourite Mario character since she first appeared in the original Super Mario Bros. Jeremy simply rolled his eyes at his overexcited friend, and they started the game with their strange knock-off characters.

They chatted idly throughout the game, small talk about how bad the newest Star Trek series was, how sad they were to hear that one of the original donkey kong arcade machines had been lost when a house burned down. (fake news! do not fear for our konky dong) Suddenly, Michael sat bolt upright. "Jere!" He shouted, quite loudly. Jeremy grew quite flustered in a matter of seconds, his back going completely straight as he rose from his slouched position. "W-what?" Michael saw how startled his friend was and snorted, grinning crookedly. "Calm down, bro! I just realized that I hadn't asked you how you're feeling."

Jeremy smiled to himself, resuming the game and shuffling into a more comfortable position on the squishy beanbag. "I'm so good. I'm so, so good, man. Christine likes me! You like me again! E-Even Rich likes me! I'm at a high point in my life. I still can't believe I'm dating Chris. It's truly wonderful. And the Squip hasn't come back in, like, two months!" He turned to his friend, grinning widely. "That's a record, Mikey!" Michael laughed at this, giving his happy congratulations and smiling contentedly as they settled into warm, comfortable silence.

After quite a while of playing in peace, the silence only ever broken by a small laugh or snort at a terribly translated line of dialogue, Jeremy paused the game, turning his face to meet his best friend's curious chestnut-coloured eyes. "What's up, Jere?" Michael questioned, using the nickname that he knew Jeremy loved. The tall boy put his controller down and let his navy blue jumper fall over his hands, smiling shyly at his friend. "N-Nothing." He stuttered, the smile turning into a wonky grin. "Do you, uh, have any weed?" Michael was truly speechless for a second, as he was always the one to initiate the Weed Bros cycle. Now that he thought about it, him and his best bud sure did fall into a lot of cycles.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, there's some under my bed, Jere. You want to share mine, or have one yourself?" He said, standing up on wobbly legs and silently cursing his foot for going numb. The Filipino boy hobbled over to his sound system and put on a simple playlist on YouTube titled 'Chill Beats For Chill Dudes'. He usually hated those types of playlists, but to him, the deep hum of the bass fitted the warm, lazy atmosphere of his room. Jeremy chuckled nervously, replying with a short, "I'll share yours, t-thanks though, Micah." His stutter seemed to play up only when he was nervous. Back when he had the Squip in his brain, he used to hate his stutter, but now he accepted that it slipped out sometimes, despite having gone to speech therapy as a kid. And besides, Christine thought it was kind of cute.

After some fussing around, Michael rolled a joint with great difficulty, Jeremy tripped over the chord to the stereo and almost broke it, and Rich sent them both a picture of him drinking tea shirtless for some reason, the pair were set. Michael's mothers didn't mind their son's smoking, as they knew that he didn't do it often, it made him go all happy and sleepy, and they trusted him to be smart about how much he smoked. Mr Heere, however, was quite against it due to his new-found protectiveness over his son, so Michael's room was the only place that Jeremy could have a little bit. The pair often found that they got quite cuddly and made stupid jokes after a joint or two, so they both looked forward to sharing the moment together.

Michael and Jeremy like to call themselves 'Casual Stoners™', as they didn't smoke much, and they only smoked as much as they needed to stop worrying and have a good time. Jeremy insisted that weed made him do weird things, but the strangest thing Jeremy had ever done while high was performing a weird yoga routine then kissing Michael's hand like a fancy person. The tall male said that he had no memory of the yoga, but Michael knew that he was just embarrassed. They passed the joint between the two of them, the room beginning to smell smoky and kind of earthy, like burning leaves. Michael didn't like the smell and leaned over to open his window, but Jeremy grabbed his wrist and pulled him back, close to him. He felt sort of sleepy, but very affectionate.

Jeremy watched as his best friend laid his head on his shoulder, flushing softly at how close he was. Michael closed his eyes, snuffing out the joint and exhaling, thin wisps of smoke curling and twisting through the air like ribbons. "Hey, Micah?" The shorter boy turned his head so that his chin was resting on Jeremy's shoulder, and he could see his freckles. He mumbled a reply, though his voice was so soft that Jeremy just took it as a sign to continue. "I like this. I've been hanging with Christine a lot lately, and it's just so wonderful a-and she makes my heart melt and we actually, properly k-kissed yesterday and I almost cried and-" Michael lazily stuck out his pink tongue at his friend, nudging him in the side, and Jeremy's cheeks turned a peachy colour. He was rambling again. He always rambled on and on about Christine, but Michael would always raise an eyebrow or do something small to let him know that perhaps it was time to stop, which he learned to appreciate.

Michael bit his lower lip, smiling lopsidedly at his friend to let him know that it was okay, and that he could go on. "S-So, as I was saying." Jeremy started, stifling a giggle. "I miss hanging out with you like this. It's nice. We don't even have to use words, we know each other so well. A-And as soon as we start to fall asleep like we always do after one or two joints," The two were quite lightweight, to say the least. "I'm going to tell you all the reasons why I love you. I'll do it as we fall asleep because I'll probably embarrass myself and want you to forget it all, but I'm just letting you know. You're my best friend and it made me very sad when you told me about this morning. Christine and I are your b-best friends, so it doesn't matter if we're together or not. We'll just both come over and give you double the hugs." Michael had opened his eyes, and was looking up at Jeremy fondly, his soft brown eyes sparkling like some kind of anime. "I'd love that, you big sap."

It was the wee hours of the morning, and the pair were laying next to each other, tangled in the sheets, looking up at the ceiling, at the shadows that Michael's purple lava lamp cast. They had slept in the same bed many times, so it was never awkward, it was just nice. The YouTube playlist had repeated, but only one speaker was on, playing the soft, deep thrum of the bass lines. Jeremy shifted his head to look at Michael, his soft features peaceful, his eyes dark except for the bright purple spark in his eyes from the light on the roof. "Micah? I'm gonna be a m-massive sap now, okay?" His lips spread into a wonky smile. Michael rolled onto his side, looking up at Jeremy, their faces rather close to each other's, comfortably so.

"M'kay, Jere." He replied, smiling softly, admiring the way his friend's cheeks flushed. What a dang nerd. Jeremy took a deep breath, letting his best bud watch him as he rolled onto his back, closing his eyes. "Okay. I'm going to number them, even though I don't like numbers." He said, his voice a tiny bit shaky. "Number one! You are simply the most optimistic person I know. I love it when you do that stupid little dance when you're listening to Marley or something like that. I love how we have our own handshake, and how you never forget our stupid in jokes. You make me smile a lot, even though you are embarrassing sometimes." That earned a soft laugh from the boy next to him.

Jeremy cleared his throat and continued, calmly looking up at the mottled purple light swimming across the roof. "Number two. I love the way you're always here for me without fail. God, even when I'm being a massive douche you're by my side, ready to set me straight. You're so supportive man, and when I'm nervous about play or Christine or the Squip or something kind of dumb, you're kind of like a therapist?" He chuckled hesitantly at the thing he had just said, noting that Michael had become silent, except for his soft, deep breathing.

"Number three? Number three. You're not afraid to... be yourself. That confidence rubs off on me, and it does on others, too. Even Rich, with his confidence and all, becomes super outgoing whenever your're around. And I know that you have days where you feel sad, or just stressed, but you put on an act just to make the others feel better. And while that isn't the best thing-" Jeremy bit his lip at his hypocrisy. "It's so selfless, a-and I admire you for it. Jenna's said that she could write an essay on how you're the happiest person she knows." He paused, thinking about his words. The tall boy sat up a little, propping himself up on his elbows and looking down at his friend. Jeremy wondered if Michael was asleep, but he knew he probably wasn't, since the shorter male moved positions or yawned softly every couple of minutes. Michael suddenly opened his eyes, grumbling something under his breath, making Jeremy snort a little.

Jeremy shot his friend a questioning look, raising one light eyebrow. Michael simply curled up into the fetal position, pulling the soft covers further up his bare legs. Of course, he was wearing his salmon coloured weed shorts, but his legs had little bumps from the cold. Jeremy called them 'goosepimples' instead of goosebumps just to annoy Michael, as the shorter boy thought it sounded gross. Jeremy rolled his eyes and flopped back onto the now messy bed, continuing his speech. "Okay! Okay. You ready? I can't be bothered numbering them." Micheal rolled onto his back, looking over at his best bud's face, egging him on with a soft nudge in the side. "You give the best hugs. Seriously. You say you're chubby but you're just... soft. It's nice. You're always so warm for some unknown reason, and you being short-" That earned him a slightly harder nudge- "Makes it easy to rest my chin on your head. Your hugs are like heaven, seriously, Micah." Michael looked rather happy at that compliment, his lips curled in a soft smile.

Jeremy smiled gently. The bass had stopped playing, so now they were resting in warm, comfortable silence. The taller male was practically whispering now, his voice was soft and unwavering as he spoke. "Even when I'm freaking out stupidly at 2 AM, you're just there, ready to video call me while smoking weed and eating cereal. Micah, do you ever sleep?" He asked, receiving a little smirk from his friend. "Anyway. How could I forget? Your hair. It's softer than a baby's butt. I often wonder what it would be like to... y'know, don't take this the wrong way, okay? I want to run my hands through it? How do you do it? Maybe it's me, maybe it's Mellbeline??" He looked down at his half-asleep friend, waiting for approval.

Michael grinned sleepily at his friend, a glint in his eyes. "Jer! You know you can touch my hair anytime. I see you looking at it a lot though. Go ahead..." The hoodie-clad male didn't get to finish his sentence before he was asleep, his eyes fluttering closed, his head resting next to Jeremy's lap. Jeremy, who had grown quite flustered at his friend's honestly, ran his hands through Michael's hair just once, then shuffled around into a comfortable position. 

Eventually, Jeremy had managed to get into a comfy position, laying on his side, facing away from Michael. He listened to the soft, rumbling snores of his friend, his eyelids becoming heavy and dropping. Just as he was about to fall asleep, he felt Michael shift, then felt an arm lazily draped on top of his side. He managed to capture his best friend in a gentle, kind of sloppy hug from behind. Jeremy didn't feel awkward or uncomfortable. Michael felt warm, safe.

soft.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey hey hey!  
> This is my first fanfiction, and I'm pretty excited.  
> I've been listening to Be More Chill for more than half a year now, so I figured It Was Time.  
> The panic that Michael goes into is based on my experiences, if that makes sense?  
> I really didn't want to make this story 'owo michael my smol anxious bean', but I wanted to make it a little realistic.  
> I hope you liked this lil fic!  
> I know it seems kind of boring, but I just wanted to try out writing the boys and how they might interact.  
> It wasn't very accurate, but it's alright!  
> More to come, I hope you guys like expensive headphones hehe.  
> Comments are greatly appreciated!


End file.
